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LONGING FOR HOME

LUISA TOVAR

I am a self-taught artist from Chicago. My parents were born and raised in Mexico; my mother grew up in CDMX and my father in Michoacán. I have visited Mexico many times in my life but this is perhaps the longest I have remained here.

My work has typically been centered around my own identity. In this series I explore the feeling of longing and the use of color. I believe this has always been important in my practice, the colors of the spaces I spend time in have a hand in my experiences. In my previous work, yellow was a constant as it was the color of my bedroom walls. Although I went through many things in that space, both good and bad, there was a sense of being held, of warmth and comfort that the space provided.

In these works, I used bright tones for the figures and earth tones throughout. I felt more at liberty here to make up my own color palette for the figures, to push my boundaries in this way. These figures are representations of myself, but different versions. The earth tones are what I took in during my time here-having a studio facing the garden and the rugged landscape of Mexico in general.

I was not drawn to paint any interiors of the house at El Sur, instead, I incorporated many landscapes; some observed, and others imagined. Through this body of work, I learned that I have, and still am, searching and longing for home. In my old apartment the walls of my bedroom, where I spent the most time alone in reflection. Nowadays, I am longing in a different way, within someone else, myself, and perhaps the landscapes that surround me.

‘The Crying Cowgirls’ was a result of wanting to be playful and reflecting on the vulnerability that exists in my relationships. I spent time here ruminating on how much I need and want the people in my life to be okay with crying. Perhaps the ability to cry and be vulnerable is necessary in order to find home within someone else. These cowgirls are longing for love and home in someone outside of themselves.

‘Burial' is about the desire to put to rest a version of you that no longer has a home within you. There is a longing for a new feeling of home within myself and a rejection of what home used to be.

‘Searching’ is about looking for a physical space, a landmark to call home and wondering if I could ever find it here. Although I’ve never lived in CDMX, I am grateful for the sense of comfort I’ve found navigating the streets and spaces.

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